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The Little Things

This is the post excerpt.

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Very rarely do we see the little things in life. People are so bent on noticing the obvious things that happen,and forget to note the small things.

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You walk past a beggar,probably had no food in the past few days, they rarely ask for much say like a mere 20 shillings, and they rarely complain for the little you give is much more to them. That 10 shilling you consider useless in this economy is worth millions to them. Sure,they might use it to buy drugs, but what if they don’t? That’s not hard for you to part with 10 shillings, right? But how many times do you stop to help? How many times have you actually stopped to say hi, maybe give him a friendly rub on the head, give her a smile, told the old man or woman that everything will be okay? I can say I have.
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Our current generation is a greedy lot, don’t blame it on us though,we just pick what we’ve been taught by society as we grow up. They say,”Humanity is dead.” I say,”Humanity is DYING.” I still have hope in us. Of course a lot of the things we currently do aren’t really good, but there’s a few percentage that do what they deem right. These days,being good to people is such a rare task to the extent that lending someone a hand always results in them asking,”What’s in it for you?” We’ve turned everything into mutual materialistic benefit, such that anything we do MUST be repaid, be it now or later.
When was the last time you smiled at a stranger(not in a creepy way) in a bus, when was the last time you helped a kid cross the road, when was the last time you held the door open for someone behind you. It’s these little acts that matter. You don’t have to tip of a waiter a huge sum of money to make them happy, ask him how his day is as he serves you, compliment a stranger’s scarf/hair/shoes etc and watch them light up, ask if you can help; whether its a tourist that looks lost, an older person that dropped something or your coworker that’s running late on a big deadline – just ask if you can help.
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It’s surprising how a day can turn around when kindness touches it. We strive for happy lives but we live in gloomy environments. We strive for a better life but we do nothing to better it. We say we care but we don’t show it. We say “I love you.” But when was the last time you got off what you were doing to listen to how her day was,when was the last time you got off your phone with the girls and actually spent time with him, when was the last you actually sat down with her and decided on a movie to watch together.
We say a lot, but its the gestures that matter. You dont have to take her out to a fancy hotel to show you care; you could head to the kitchen with her, let her teach you how to cook her favourite recipes, surprise her one day and cook it for her. You dont have to flaunt him on every social media platform to show him that you care. Learn to show him love, as much love as you show your make-up kit/your girlfriends/your instagram handle.the little things in life matter, much much more than the basic acts. Learn to integrate them in your everyday activities.

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Learn to live in the moment, enjoy the breeze, feel the sun’s warmth, feel the joy of making someome smile. Cause you’ll never know if that smile was all they needed to make it through the day.

Her.

So there was this girl i liked, wait… I still like her but she’s not here anymore so I’ll just say i used to like her… Well anyway there was this girl i liked. Not like in a friendly way…. Like liked her… With that extra Like. She wasn’t what most would call pretty but she looked pretty to me. She was light skinned, yellow like the petals of a slowly withering sunflower in a clouded afternoon. Her eyes were wide but she had this condition where one of her eyelids was partially paralysed so she ended up looking like the female version of Forest Whittaker. She was always self conscious about it, always had her hair cover the eye… Or her hoodie. She said it made her look ugly but i didn’t see it like she did. She still looked beautiful to me. And her laughter… Oh God… I don’t think I’ve ever seen any girl laugh as horrible as she didπŸ˜…πŸ˜……she knew this but she always found a reason to laugh. But hey this isn’t a fairy tale so don’t expect perfection coz she wasn’t perfect. She had her flaws as everyone else does.

There was this time her phone fell to the floor and the screen got cracked. At first we thought it was the screen protector that got cracked, till she took the protector off and we saw a crack running across the screen from. And i heard her laugh, but her eyes were watery with tears, and i felt it… On the shirt i had on as i gave her an embrace to console her coz she had awful breakdowns and i didn’t want to see her like that. But even with tears rolling down her rosy, chubby cheeks she still laughed(which kind of scared me coz it sounded psychotic) and I’ve never been in love again like i did with her.

She was a funny human… We shared the same sense of humor, our classmates called us sadists coz we laughed at other people getting hurt but 90% of the time we weren’t listening coz we were in each others arms watching Cyanide and Happiness from her phone or talking about a song either she sent me or I sent her. And that was a moment of true bliss for me, coz she was close and it felt just right. She had the biggest of hearts… Caring, loving, sweet(even though she was mean on most occasions but i know she didn’t mean it)
She was short…. I used to call her my minion and she’d blush and id see her cheeks go reddish then we’d laugh it off before she punches me in the guts and whispers in my ear that i shouldn’t call her that again πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…. She hated her skin tone, she used to tell me that a lot. She hated being that light coz it always gave out her emotions. She didn’t tell me tho but i soon came to learn that the tip of her ears and nose go red when she’s lying… But i never disclosed that info.

She hated people touching her, especially her hair, i saw her once swing a razor blade at a guy coz he was coming too close. Luckily for me she never chased me away… Well not all the time, but i did play around with her hair. It was so soft and shiny and fluffy on some days. On other days it had pieces of blanket in it as she came to class late with eye bags under her eyes, dragging her feet while she walked, dressed in an oversized sweat pant and a hoodie. During break time I’d take her out for coffee coz she looked terrible but coffee always fixes that.

Sometimes when I miss her I watch that Batmetal Video she used to enjoy and id still hear her laughter echo in my head at how Batman pouts his mouth while singing. She was a fan of my noisy music… Not because she liked me but because she actually enjoyed it… She always used to pester me to listen to Thy Art Is Murder πŸ˜…πŸ˜… but i used to refuse. Well a year down the line, Thy Art Is Murder is among one of my favourite bands. 😊thank you for that. We usually had this competition to see who would find the most brutal song by the end of the weekend and whoever lost had to be the other person’s slave for the whole week…. She always lostπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚…and boy did she throw up a fuss about it everytime so one day i let her be my master(that sounded better in my head but imma still keep it in).

She was the best… Still is the best… Maybe forever will be the best. And even though we dont talk anymkre, she’ll still be close. All i wish is that wherever she is someone is treating her better than I could. I hope he doesnt see her eye and go “eeeewww”. I hope he never makes her feel less of a person coz she laughs weirdly. I hope he never sees her walk around shaggy and unkempt and decides to distance himself. I hope he buys her more novels than i ever did coz she loved novels more than she loved herself. I just hope he treats her right, coz she’s a fragile little being.

Gratitude

Have you ever asked yourself why the dead get more flowers than the living do? It’s pretty simple; regret is stronger than gratitude.

It takes such an effort for someone to be grateful, but everyone suddenly turns all touchy feely when something regretful happens. It’s part of us really, the acknowledgement of regret. Its easier to speak out during times of regret, but its suddenly like a vice has your lips sealed tight when it comes to being thankful. Its easier for the word “sorry” to be uttered than it is for a simple “thank you”.

We associate gratefulness to being a weak show of emotion. We let our ego win(like in most cases) and with ego steering our thoughts, it becomes hard to be a lot of things. Who said its a crime to just for once say “thank you”? How hard can it be to just go out of your way and tell that close friend of yours you love them. How much effort would it take to surprise your lover with a box of chocolates? Why wait till its way past the point of redemption for you to start to realize gratitude takes nothing from your life?

In a way, I’m glad regret exists. Wanna know why? Because without it, we’d be a very egotistical species. Without regret, we’d become monsters. Heartless beings. Coz regret opens your eyes to the things you never saw. Regret shows you those good moments you’d have had with a person if only you’d have been a little bit nicer. Regret opens your eyes to the possibility of a long lasting partner that you took for granted. Regret opens your eyes to the beauty you never saw in her face as you chased after one of these ‘slay queens’. Regret shows you how foolish you were. It is at this point that gratitude takes over. Regret is like that door that leads to the outside while you’ve been staring at boarded up windows, only open when you decide its not worth it anymore.

Again, its the little things in life that count. Share the love, enjoy the moment, say thank you, I love you, you mean a lot to me. You never know whether that comment from you might turn a frown upside down. Be nice. Its all you can easily afford to do living in this world.

Fade Away.

You cant,
Over and over replay in my head,
Nagging, knocking, hitting me time and again,
You’d rather be dead,
I am dead, or I’m dying, wait what are you saying?

Hopeless,
Written in vibrant bold,
Like a brick wall, four to be precise,
Surrounding me, so solemn and cold,
Feel that thrill chill a line down my spine.

Useless,
I should have probably been named that,
Why do i think like this?
Who am i? Looking at the mirror, Who is that?
Hideous, Why do you look like this?

Lost.
Forgotten like that old pair of pants under the bed,
Oh wait, you remember it when you want a mop.
Dead inside from the lies I’ve been fed,
Running towards the endless abyss, why cant i stop?

Jump! Jump!
Not a skipping rope, No No
Who skips a rope at the edge of a tall building?
Come to think of it, that’s an awesome way to go, No?
Trip from the top, rope tangled around neck, quickly tumbling.

Disgrace,
Oh you don’t have to tell me, i know already,
Been singing it over and over to myself, its my anthem,happily embraced it,
Have it written out in bold and underlined, like a heading,
Might write a book, autobiography and title it that, ain’t that sweet?

When finality hits while you sit in the heat of it all,
Skin melting off your bones like butter off a hot knife,
But you cant do anything, is there anything you can do at all?
Considering you’re the one that put yourself on that path of life.

Let it all fade away,
Fade away, Fade away.

Why does it always rain on me?

There’s this thing people don’t get about a few aspects of life. Today I’ll be focussing on depression.

Most people think depression is just sadness, it’s something easy to tackle, something you just say one day,”I’ll not be depressed anymore,” and you’re okay. Well you’re wrong. Depression is way worse,much much worse.

Depression holds much more than just sadness. Depression feels like you’re drowning,but you can see everyone else around you breathing. Depression feels like you’re getting eaten alive, but bit by bit, just to keep you alive so you can feel the pain. Depression feels like there’s a cloud hanging over you everywhere but you can see the sun-kissed faces of others around you.

Depression takes the light from your life, sucks up all your energy and leaves an empty husk behind. Depression is like that haunting voice in the back of your mind, telling you everything wrong about you, and you can’t drown it out. Depression tells you that you’re worthless, screams at you that you’re ugly,boring,helpless, a nuisance to others. Depression ruds you of your ego, takes it and tramples on it while you watch. And the worst part is you can’t tell anyone, because no one really gets what you’re going through. No one understands the constant struggle in your head to stay sane, to not break down, to keep on living, because depression has this thing of stripping you of the will to live anymore. Depression throws you in a shallow quicksand pit then ties weights to your legs so that the more you try to escape, the deeper you go in.

Depression teaches you that no one cares, it shows you the worst of life, it teaches you to fake a smile.

Depression never really leaves, it waits for you to enjoy life without it, see the bright side of life, live in the joy, ravish the happy moments, gather enough memories before it strikes and uses those memories to torment you.

Depression is like a sadistic torture method, and you have no control over it. The weak ones resort to self harm, suicide in most extreme cases, the strong ones resort to isolation. There’s no real escape, even for the strong ones. Depression takes your strong will and amplifies its hits. Uses your strong points against you. After all, depression is one with you, it knows your weakness, your strength, it knows how to kill you slowly and how to totally devastate you in mere seconds.

Depression always finds a way to make it worse. “When life throws lemons at you, make lemonade” that’s what they say, right? Well, depression throws lemons at you, then when you think it’s over it hits you with the whole lemon tree, smack on the face. Depression incorporates itself into your life activities, becomes a part of you. So, for anyone saying depression is just sadness, just know its more complicated than that. Its one of those things you should experience to know what it holds. And for the ones going through it, sometimes its better to pretend everything’s OK. You’ll make it out stronger if you endure it.

Trip Down Love Lane.

I think a lot of people don’t understand what real romance is. Anyone can buy flowers, candy or jewelry,there’s no love in that.

The truly romantic things in life are those little things you do every day to show you care, and that you’re thinking of them. It’s going out of your way to make them happy. The way you hold her hand when you know she’s scared, or you save the last piece of cake for him. That random text in the middle of the day, just to say “I love you” or “I miss you”. The way he stop to kiss you when he passes by. It’s dedicating her favourite song to her, and letting her eat your fries… and telling her she’s beautiful when she’s in her baggy,faded t-shirt,a pair of shorts with messy hair and no makeup. It’s putting your favourite show on pause so she can tell you how her day was, and laughing at his jokes even the lame ones. It’s slow dancing in the moonlight and kissing in the rain. Romance isn’t about buying, it’s about giving. True romance is in the gestures.

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She’s not perfect. You’re not perfect either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if she can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can.

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She isn’t going to quote poetry, she’s not thinking about you every moment but she will give you a part of her that she knows you could break. Don’t hurt her, don’t change her, and don’t expect for more than she can give. Don’t analyze, smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys or chics don’t exist, but there’s always one that’s perfect for you.

UnromeoRomantic